Random Drabbles and Oneshots
by Courtney Gears
Summary: Random Drabbles and Oneshots for TF2. All based around all characters, though some characters will be in later chapters, such as Admin and Saxton Hale. Collection of funny, emotional (Kinda), romantic stories. T just in case of later chapters
1. Prankster

Lol just some of my rambling ;) (With couples included).

Some of them too short for drabbles maybe?

CG: Anyway, seeing as I don't own TF2, disregard me as an ordinary citizen. Anyone else buzzing from zee news? (Hint, TF2 film...)

Demo: Ach lassie, what's this TF2 you keep going on about?

CG: Nozhing... Oh and one more thing. Right behind jou.

Real CG: SPY!

* * *

OOO

_Backstab._

Sniper grabbed the cloaked Spy by the back of his suit and pulled him back, successfully uncloaking him. Spy gasped and dropped his knife, his attention completely on the Aussie holding onto him. Sniper swiftly grabbed one of his arrows from his quiver, whilst simultaneously locking lips with the opposition.

Whilst the Frenchman was distracted, he jerked the arrow through the uncovered back of the Spy and grinned as the Blu screamed into his mouth. He pulled away and let the suffering Spy drop to the floor, his breathing ragged and forced. Sniper crouched down and pulled the Spy close to his face by his suit lapels. He smirked evilly before pulling his Kukri from his belt.

"Bloody Spois."

* * *

OOO

_Music_

Medic pulled the bow across the strings, his eyes automatically closing as he lost himself in the music. As soon as he heard the slamming door to the infirmity, he pulled the bow away from the strings, pulling the wooden instrument away from his neck.

He opened his eyes and looked up to the open door, where a wary Heavy stood anxiously. He sighed and looked down at his wrist where his golden watch ticked away silently.

_3.42am_

He sighed and turned back to his comrade, who still stood in the doorway that only just held his broad shoulders.

"What is it Herr Heavy?" Medic rubbed at the bridge of his nose with the hand housing his bow, careful to not knock his face with the horsehair strings.

"Doktor was playing, so I thought I could maybe come listen?" Heavy stayed in his position by the door, hopping from one foot to the other. Medic hitched his glasses up his nose and gave a single nod, turning back to the old gramophone.

He placed the needle onto the round disk and let the music restart, resting his violin against his neck once more. Heavy walked into the room slowly and sat down on one of the plastic waiting chairs, still scattered around the beds in random patterns.

He shuffled into a more comfortable position before turning to his favourite teammate. Medic nodded again before dragging the bow across the strings, the beautiful music pouring from his position in the middle of the room. He yet again closed his eyes as the music progressed, the accompanying instruments harmonising with the German and his violin.

Medic aggressively pulled the bow, his moves sharp and practised, whilst an impressed Heavy watched on silently. As the music slowed to a stop, Heavy stood from his chair, his height over towering the German. Medic opened his eyes and looked up at his comrade with a happy smile on his face. Heavy slightly bent down and pulled the doctor into his broad chest, whispering into his hair.

"Goodnight Doktor."

* * *

OOO

_Swap_

Engineer stepped out of respawn warily, not used to the long limbs he had acquired. Medic looked up and jumped on him, pulling him to the side.

"Ahhhh Herr Sniper, just the man I was looking for." Medic hitched his glasses up his nose.

"Err Doc?" Medic froze and looked at him strangely, the voice not matching to the body. A short form stumbled out of respawn next to the duo and froze up, his wide eyes staring at Engie.

Medic gripped both of them and pulled them into his office, before either of them could comprehend what was going on.

"Vat the hell is going on here?" Engineer looked down at his arms and the rifle in his hands, and then to the person stood next to him. Sniper stood with as little ease as was possible and his back was as straight as a board, the wrench clenched tightly in his hands. He stared down at his overalls then back to his own body, inhabited by the Texan. Sniper pulled the hardhat off his head and pulled it to his chest.

"Whatever I did, I'm sorry mate." Medic blinked and realised the Australian was talking to him.

"You think I did zis?" Medic hissed at the two, his glasses glinting dangerously in the light. Both men turned to each other then back to the German, both shooting daggers at the older Doctor.

"Yes." They both replied simultaneously, both reaching for the other's melee. Medic looked shocked and grinned sheepishly, backing into the wall behind him as the two slowly approached. He looked up, and the last thing he saw, was the two Reds above him, butterfly knives in hand...

Medic jolted awake and switched on his lamp, the papers on his desk flying everywhere. He looked up and spotted both the mercs from his dream, tucked into the infirmitary beds, smiles on both their faces.

"Mein gott."

* * *

OOO

_Prankster_

Scout stepped through the swinging doors of the mess halls and pulled a blue can from his bag, _Bonk! Atomic Punch_ plastered over the sides. Scout flipped the can around his hand before pulling the tab off of the top, chugging the entire contents quickly. He immediately passed out and hit the floor hard, his limbs spread out in different directions. Engie ran to his side, pressing his real hand against his jugular.

"He's alive." Everyone in the room groaned, their held breaths let out with disappointment. Engie frowned and pulled the runner up by his shirt, slinging him over his shoulder and leaving the room.

Medic wiped tears of laughter from his eyes, looking over to the man opposite him.

"It is your turn comrade." Heavy chuckled and gestured subtly (Or as subtly as a 7'11 man can) towards a hung-over Demoman, his large hands nursing his usual scrumpy. He took a long gulp whilst keeping his one eye on Soldier, who was sitting across from him with a scowl on his face. His hands rested around a steaming mug of black coffee, of which he yet had to take a drink from. Demo pulled the bottle back to the table with a loud slam, causing Soldier to jump in his seat and spill his fresh coffee down his pressed uniform. Demo roared with laughter as Soldier jumped to his feet, his face red under the deep blue helmet that lay upon his head.

"I'M GOING TO..." Soldier stopped short as he caught sight of the cockroach clinging to his shirt, near his neck. He flung the mug across the room and ran out of the mess hall, screaming bloody murder as he went. The rest of the mercs in the room sat still in baited silence, the only sound being the quickly slowing chuckle of the bomb expert.

Said bomb expert immediately began to scratch at his neck absentmindedly, a strange burning feeling coming from the inner workings of his throat. The burning grew until he couldn't stand it any longer, and he leapt from his seat and went running back to his room, the bottle discarded on the table. Seconds later, he came rushing back to the mess hall, a jug of water clutched in his hands. Heavy chuckled as the Cyclops gulped the whole jug down, water sloshing over his pale uniform. Still the burning sensation stayed, as he screamed out in agony.

"MAH MOUTH'S BURIN!" He ran from the room and a silence ensued over the room yet again, the chuckling of Medic and Heavy echoing throughout.

"Zat vas a good one!" Medic closed his eyes briefly, not noticing the glimmer in the air directly behind him. Heavy lifted one hand to warn him, but was too late as the German fell from his stool, his back hitting the floor hard. Spy materialised, stole a glance at the rest of the team and took the bottle of beer discarded in Medic's place. He disappeared into his cloak once again and stalked out of the room, Heavy's mouth still open in shock. He shook his head and ran to the door, shouting down the corridor.

"TINY SPY!"

Seconds later, the sound of a jar breaking reached the remaining mercs, the disgusted cry from spy following not long after.

"IS THIS?... BUSHMAN! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU IN YOU SLEEP, AND KEEP KILLING YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR DISGUSTING LIFE! DO NOT THROW YOUR BODILY FLUIDS AROUND LIKE ZEY HAVE A USE!" Sniper laughed loudly at the yellow tinted Spy. Running down the corridors with an angry Frenchman chasing him seemed to be the funniest thing that had happened in his life, the way he was bent over, as he ran, from laughter. Spy waddled after the Australian, his face screaming hatred towards Sniper. Pyro stepped back as the two raced past, a balloonicorn plush held tightly in it's arms. They walked to the slowly emptying mess hall, strolling past irritated, pranked mercenaries, and laughing pranksters. They grinned maliciously under their mask.

All was going according to plan.

* * *

OOO

_Bonk_

Sniper picked up the can, flipping it in his hands strangely. He checked over both shoulders before pulling the tab and lifting the can to his lips. He took a sip and disgust etched onto his features.

"This tastes like crap."

* * *

That last one was just a spur of the moment, tiny thing that took me literally 30 seconds.

UPDATE: Just decided to continue this, changed a few spelling mistakes.


	2. Dog

Yo! I'm back with 2nd installation!

Medic: Vat is your fascination with ze Pyro?

CG: Hehe *Most of this TOTALLY isn't Pyro*

Medic: *Raises eyebrow* Hmmm?

CG: ... RUNNNNNN *Legs it*

* * *

OOO

_Dog_

Engie sat still in his truck, the red paint gleaming off the hood into his eyes. The Bostonian next to him jumped repeatedly in the leather seat, not able to keep still.

"Come on, come on, we haven't got all day!" Engie gave the youngster a pointed look, his arm resting on the steering wheel.

"We have." Scout carried on jumping in his seat, the lock secured into place to keep him in the truck. Engie rubbed his eyes furiously and unlocked the car, bracing himself as the runner leapt out onto the cement car park, taking off towards the half empty mall like a shot.

"See ya later Engie!" The mechanic rolled his eyes and stepped out onto the dusty ground, taking in the rapidly rising sun over the horizon. He was about to head to the large building when he kicked a cardboard box next to his feet. He kicked it away, but stopped when a short, sharp yelp emitted from inside the battered box. Engie was surprised he hadn't run it over when he pulled in.

He walked up to the once discarded box and reached down, taking the small box into both hands. He pushed open the flap, and nearly jumped out of his skin when something pounced out and landed in his arms, the box falling due to his surprise. The puppy looked up and him with wide eyes, its pink tongue sticking out of its black mouth.

'A Rottweiler' he noted. The puppy pawed at his stubbly chin, its bloody paw leaving a mark on his cheek. He picked it up by its middle, and looked down at it.

"Ok, a girl." He lifted in gently to his face and chuckled as it looked up in wonder at its reflection in his goggles.

"Where did you come from little missy?" Engie swapped the puppy to his one arm and picked up the cardboard at his feet, a small note fluttering to the ground. The puppy flopped in his arms, finally tired out from pawing at Engie. He bent down and picked up the paper, reading the cursive writing spread across the bloodied paper.

It read:

_Dear whomever finds this puppy,_

_As I can no longer look after this puppy, please take good care of it. She likes any kind of meat, and is very playful._

_Please don't harm her in any way._

_Previous owner._

Engie lowered the paper and hefted the puppy up into his arms, reopening the door to his truck. He climbed in and haphazardly stuffed old blankets into the foot section, placing the tired puppy into them. The puppy yawned widely and dropped its head into its paws, its eyes drooping and finally closing fully. Engie smiled fondly before carefully closing the door and taking off in the direction Scout ran off to.

Scout waited by the door of the bright red truck, Engie still not returned from his own shopping. The sun was just starting to set and spread an orange hue over the whole car park, making Scout wince and turn away from the sun. Scout leaned his face against the glass window of the truck and waited for his Texan friend to return, his shopping bags discarded by his cleats.

_Wham _

Scout jumped back as the glass vibrated through his nose, tripping over his many bags. Scout rubbed his face and stood up, rubbing his lower back from where he impacted with the floor. He peered into the slightly darkened glass and narrowed his eyes against the reflected sun, attempting to make out the shapes of the truck interior. Again the glass bounced in its frame, a seemingly moving shape just able to make out in the shadowed car.

He shook his head and slid down the door of the van, landing lightly on the sun kissed floor, his bags scattered around his legs. He drifted slightly into sleep and before long, he was being awoken by a bag ridden Engie, his arms gripping what seemed to be a... Dog bed? Scout sat up and rubbed his eyes in disbelief at the older mercenary, Engie merely chuckling at the runner's shocked face. Scout jumped to his face and followed Engie to his side of the car, collecting his bags in a quick rustle.

"Engie? The 'hell you doing with a dog bed?" Scout demanded, his long strides easily catching up with the shorter man. Engie placed it down gently onto the ground before pulling out his jumbled keychain, home-made keyrings making up most of the bunch. He gently clicked the door open and peered into the dark car, his hand held up to Scout in a 'Shut the hell up' gesture.

* * *

OOO

_Water_

She slammed her hand against the surface of the water, growling at her smug looking counterpart.

"Ya dumbass! It's ceasefire!" Her anger was slowly building inside her, the BLU boy on the bridge earning himself a set of dagger eyes from the raven haired Scout.

Ever since she'd set foot in this goddamned base, it had been 'Make me a sandvich' this, 'Weak woman' that. It was really all quite annoying.

She casually stuck her finger up at the arrogant runner before swimming sideways through the black water, eyes locked on the retreating form of the other Bostonian.

Ugh, something touched her foot.

She shook her head idly and continued swimming, her clothes and her thoroughly soaked through. God how she hated that BLU. She swam quickly to her team's respective tunnel, climbing up onto the concrete. Great, now she had to go through the sewers.

She clicked the button on the side of her headset, a long static buzz bursting into her right ear. She smacked the yellow plastic sharply before growling inhumanly and stalking off down the tunnel, unaware of the luminous yellow eyes burning into her soaked figure.

* * *

OOO

_Banana_

They sat in the fruitbowl alongside the apples and pears, as bright and perky as fruit could be. Happily, they watched as their bowl-mates left one by one. Time ticked on for the fruit, and before long, they were alone. Still time continued on, their skins blackening to the very core. They were separated from the real world and so very, very alone...

Scout picked up a blackened banana, his face twisting in disgust.

"Hey Engie?" Scout glanced at his teammate, gaining a quick grunt from the Texan sat in the mess hall, his attention mostly on the blueprints covering the tabletop.

"Can we get some new bananas?"

* * *

OOO

_Balloonicorn_

Balloonicorn. That was all that was written on the crate when it arrived at the base that day. It had been Engie to come across the wooden Mann Co crate, its lid sagging from the torrential that had poured down overnight. He had placed it in the middle of the table in the rec room, confusing glances passing between all the mercs. Every merc but Pyro that is.

Pyro had immediately jumped up from it's seat, taking the small box into it's gloved hands, bounding happily out of the room. The rest of them brushed it off as Pyro being Pyro.

But they were wrong.

Pyro retreated back to their burnt room and pried the door open using the blackened key that was usually tucked under their suit. The box was carefully lowered onto the tarnished table, surrounded by cuddly toys and bright table ornaments.

Pyro knelt lightly on the fluffy white rug and pulled out a white cushion from under the blackened bed frame. The masked firebug unzipped the cover before pulling out a Mann Co key and unlocking the package, lifting the lid slowly.

A simple inflated unicorn floated out.

The rest of the team just disregarded it as another misc.

Pyro knew better. It was _**Alive**_

* * *

There, 2nd update. I decided to continue this, sorry it took a long time, my laptop charger broke. Anyways, like it? Review!

The Dog one is incomplete because I simply cannot be bothered to finish it. Maybe I will, maybe I won't.


	3. LIFE

Well, this chapter's not as good as the other two, but I know a couple of you wanted this (like none of you), so here's the (very bad) third chapter. This is a Scout-full chapter, so beware lol.

CG: Scout, get your hand out that jar.  
Scout: *Mouth full of cookies* Whut?  
CG: Disclaimer please  
Scout: She don't own TF2 or us.

* * *

OOO

_Purple_

Purple polyester fabric slid over skin softly and quickly, a metal zip making a quiet sound as it was closed just as quickly. The hem of the dress was tugged at lightly with purple painted nails, slightly shorter than that of an average woman. Yet she never was an average woman in the first place. Well maybe there had been a time...

But that was all in the past now, she had too many important things to do than reflect on her past self. She quickly slipped on her favourite pair of purple dancing shoes, her aching feet too tired for a pair of heels today.

She grabbed the paperwork on the table by her front door and stepped out, her bun jumping as she stepped off the high step just in front of the vacant space the door usually occupied. Her purple car bleeped as she placed her key into the door and twisted it sharply, knowing the lock was severely stiff. The petite woman lowered herself into the dark purple leather seat and patted the wheel lock possessively but lovingly.

It had been a gift from her father along with the car before she had gotten involved with Mann Co, and it's worn down metal had saved her car many a time as people had attempted to steal the tiny car.

Well, she loved the purple automobile, and it helped her to work quickly, where she could be ordered around all day by the elderly woman in purple. She didn't really appreciate the way she was treated but her employer, but she lived with it. Besides, at least her uniform was purple.

* * *

OOO

_Dream catcher_

What no-one understood about the mercenaries, was that they were, somehow, as human as any normal human being. For example, they still believed in Myths told by ancient beings and ancestors. And they still dreamt when they slept.

Differences between their sleep patterns were, as to be expected, hugely different. Scout, who got the least sleep out of the 9 of them, rarely dreamt. When he did, it was very occasional that he could remember any aspects of said dream, and it was basically never that he ever had a nightmare. Even the toughest of the team had nightmares every so often and they had tried remedy after remedy to rid the merc of the sour dreams that took place in the head.

Scout had never dreamt badly in the Red base, the dream catcher hanging from the frame of his bed catching the evil in the feathered and beaded intricate weaving. It was like Magic.

* * *

OOO

_Alarm_

A loud breathing sound drilled down Scout's ear, waking him from his peaceful slumber. He flipped over onto his opposite side, burying his face into the slightly grimy pillow. As it continued to get louder, he swatted at the air, hoping it was is imagination, or a fly, and it would leave out the slightly ajar door and go get on someone else's nerves. Preferably Spy's.

Yeah, definitely Spy's. Scout rolled back over, to come face to face with a long tongue sticking out of a canine-like mouth, glinting grey eyes reflecting his shocked face.

Engie left his room, just as Scout went running past, screaming something about a dog. Engie grinned. He knew letting her into Scout's room was a great idea.

* * *

OOO

_Drawing_

Spy was stressed. Engie could tell that as soon as he entered the mess hall. Pencil in hand, the Frenchman was glaring at the paper as if it could burn with his eyes alone. Engie struggled to hold in laughter as he saw the Frenchman screw up the ball of paper and throw it at the overflowing bin, bouncing off and landing near Engie's feet. The Texan picked it up, unravelling it and accidently letting a short burst of laughter to escape his lips.

Sketched onto the paper was a quick drawing of Sniper topless, ling on his side in a stereotypical pose, mostly used for women. It was hastily scribbled over and rumpled. Before it has been scribbled over, it would've actually been a good drawing, apart from one slightly larger eye that the other. Engie screwed it back up and plopped it into to the bin, coming up behind Spy, who was drawing angrily onto a new piece of paper.

"Y'know, when you draw people, it's a lot easier for them to actually be present than going off... memory." Spy narrowed his eyes at the Texan, throwing one of his suited arms over the half-finished sketch, sneering at the mechanist.

"How would you know, Toy Maker?" He spat out the nickname, his arm still resting over the image, but not as much as before.

"I draw people. Drawn everyone in tha' team already." He shrugged bashfully, Spy's gaze causing him to look away awkwardly and stroll to the Frenchman's side. He easily shoved Spy's arm out of the way, picking up the piece of paper with his metal hand. Spy watched on tiredly as the Texan's eyes skimmed over the drawing, his eyebrows rising slightly.

"I'm impressed spook, didn't think you had it in ya." Spy smirked slightly, taking the paper back out of the tinkerer's hands.

"Thank you, now may I get back to my drawing?" Spy raised one finely plucked eyebrow, allowing the engineer to pass by his chair and skid across the tabletop unceremoniously.

"Well, I'm just gonna be working on mah blueprints, don't mind me." At that, Engie pulled out a roll of blueprints, spreading them over his side of the table. He glanced up once as he heard Spy screw up his paper, throwing it at the bin by the door.

Just at that point, Sniper walked through the door, coffee in hand and rifle on his back. The paper hit him straight on the forehead, bouncing off slightly, leaving his glasses wonky on his face.

"Wos this then?" Sniper retrieved the paper from the floor, unravelling it and scanning his steely grey eyes over the pencil sketch. His face contorted into a wolfish grin, his attention transferred to a very embarrassed Spy.

"I could've posed for ya, you know."

OOO

Demoman stepped into the respawn room, heading straight to the medicine cabinet. He looked both ways before diving to the bottom shelf, rummaging through the various items, finally grinning as he grabbed onto the shiny material, folded neatly into a cone. He pulled the umbrella from the cupboard, carrying the umbrella under his rain sprinkled arm and out into the battle.

"Where has my umbrella gone!?"

* * *

OOO

_LIFE_

The box was dropped messily onto the table, its contents spilling onto the wooden surface. The mercenaries surrounding the 4 seater table looked up at the culprit, Pyro standing over them all with their arms crossed, its head making gestures to its package. The three Americans shared glances, immediately recognising the board game on the table. Heavy stared at the game intensely, not recognising the game's logo or title.

"The game of Life." He read out, his Russian accent thick and rough.

"I'm... gonna go sleep." Scout leapt from his seat, only to be pulled back by an irate Pyro.

"Nhu, yhu have to phlay." Scout cowered, sitting back into his seat cautiously.

He game was set up unnaturally quickly, the tiny buildings sticking out of the cardboard game board. Scout casually plucked a car from the collection of players, an orange car with a small man inserted into the hole in which the driver was to go. The rest of the team quickly picked a player, the blue car left to sit alone in the box...

After just ten minutes of Engie attempting to explain the rules to a confused Heavy, Scout cheating and skipping out other people and money being shredded by fighting, the board was flipped angrily by, surprisingly...

Medic.

He had just sat there the entire time of game play, knowing it would end in tears and sipping at a cheap beer. In the end, he flipped the board, sick of the arguing between his teammates.

"We are never playing ze game of Life ever again."

* * *

Well have crappy number 3. There is the second hint at SniperxSpy, so I'm sorry if you don't like that pairing. Tell me if I have made any mistakes etc. If you review, I will be really grateful because I will know people are actually reading this and it isn't pointless.

I'll get a lot more updates out now that I have broken up.


	4. Eyes

Number 4 here! Just gonna reply to a guest, cause that's what people seem to do in other stories so yeah.

Okamilover: Thank you!

I hope you realise for these, I just stare at inanimate objects and use their names as prompts...

Spy: Don't forget, zis mademoiselle does NOT own me and my teammates. Or the maps. She can have the Reds... *Gets hit with brick* Fine, they're not hers either. I would be worried for our relationship statuses if she did own any of us...

CG: Oh Spy; it's all in good fun. Hmmm, who will I pair you with next?

* * *

OOO

_Sculpture_

Sniper grimaced in disgust. A box lay on its side, abandoned on the floor as Styrofoam pieces spilled out of the open lid. Sat in the Aussie's hands was a statue of Sniper himself, a tiny rifle held in its cold brass hands.

"This is disgusting mate." He sighed, his arm dropping to his side, the statue almost falling out of his loose grip. Spy crossed his arms across his chest smugly, his statue taking place proudly on Sniper's desktop. The tiny Sniper was dumped haphazardly next to the mini-Frenchman, nearly toppling over with the force. Sniper sunk into his fold down bed next to Spy, his hand residing behind his messy hair. Spy snickered before leaning heavily against the Aussie, muttering in adoration.

"Looks better than you, Bushman."

* * *

OOO

_Band_

"Are those what I think they are?" Pyro looked up as the Texan stood over them, guitar in hand, his eyebrows raised at the joined object sat in Pyro's lap.

"Yush." Pyro tapped one of the bongo drums lightly, the resounding _thud_ making Engie smile at the excitable firebug. Pyro frantically gestured to the seat beside it, practically pulling Engie down as soon as it got a hold of his sleeve.

"Okay, okay, what's got you so excited flames?" He shuffled in his seat, getting comfortable before placing his guitar gently against his chair.

"We chan phlay toghether!" Engie shook his head good-naturedly at the suited mercenary, pulling his guitar back into his lap and strumming it slightly to test his tuning. When replied with a soft note, he smiled happily, giving his guitar a loving pat as response.

"You got a song in mind, Smoky?" He looked up, almost starting as he saw his own light blue eyes reflected in the glass of Pyro's eye pieces.

"Hmm. Dhu yhu believe in mhagic?" Engie snorted as he recalled the song in his head, the upbeat number by The Lovin' Spoonful, a favourite band of his. The hit was relatively new; of course Pyro would choose that. It just happened that Engineer knew the chords to that song, although messy, still visible in his head.

"Sure thing Py. You gonna bongo through it?" Engie knew the answer to that question; he just wanted to hear Pyro's adorable response.

"Yush! We chan get Shpy to be on mharacas!" Pyro clapped their gloved hands giddily, not noticing the soft look in Engie's eyes die out.

"Py, we don't have any Maracas. I'm sorry." Pyro shook their head at the Texan, placing the bongo drums on the seat beside them before taking off towards their room, leaving Engie alone in the mess hall. When Engie was about to go find Pyro, they burst into the room, four maracas in hand.

Engie raised his eyebrows, one hand on hip.

"Where did ya get them?" Pyro gestured wildly down the corridor, where storage was.

"In shtorage! There's lhoads of h'instruments h'in there!" Engie laughed lightly, pointing to the maracas.

"Ya know, you could get another person on the maracas." Pyro seemed to get happier (if that was possible), and took off down the corridor, muffled cries coming from the filter.

"SHPY, SHNIPER!" Engie grinned evilly. They weren't getting away this time.

* * *

OOO

_Eyes_

Spy and Sniper had known each other for years. But there were still things neither of them was comfortable to reveal. Spy still wore his balaclava everywhere, even taking to sleeping in the goddamned thing ever since he had moved into the camper van. Sniper was comfortable removing his hat, even his clothes in certain circumstances, but still his glasses resided on his face, covering his eyes from the enemy, because he knew better.

Spy read people through their eyes. And Sniper didn't want Spy reading _him._ He didn't know why. He thought it was because of his inability to read Spy, and thus needed to be able to read the Frenchman before he could allow himself to be read. But how could he read an emotionless, cold-hearted man who kills for a living?

"Sniper." He looked up from his paper, sitting up to look Spy in the eyes – one sided of course. He knew it was serious; he wasn't called a silly nickname for once.

"Whot." He replied simply, pushing his glasses back up his nose as they slipped. Spy placed one of his hands under his chin, his elbow resting on the desk lightly. Sniper was sat on the bed comfortably, his feet dangling off the edge whilst Spy sat in his battered desk chair, still only in his boxers and white shirt. Sniper sighed heavily, placing his paper – folded of course – next to him on the bed.

"Sniper..." He paused, his eyes not quite focused.

"My teammates suspect me of something. We need to be careful" Sniper snorted, not quite believing the Frenchman.

"I don't believe ya mate. That's not whot ya was gonna say, so spit it out." Spy looked down at the worn desk, tracing the pads of his fingertips over the marked wood.

"I... I do believe it is time for me to... Remove my mask in front of you." He glanced up to see Sniper's reaction, but was surprised when he saw Sniper reach up and remove his glasses. Spy widened his eyes slightly, but Sniper couldn't see that. As soon as the glasses had been removed, his eyesight had gone extremely blurry. But he knew what Spy was looking at.

His irises were a shocking pale blue, almost white, but the worst thing about his eyes was that his pupils were non-existent. Just not there, as if they had been erased by an artist. Spy froze up as the pale eyes stayed locked on his, but somehow didn't. Sniper carefully replaced his glasses, the eyes now hidden behind the dark yellow glass.

"So now ya know. I understand if ya leave, but..." He was cut off as Spy shoved an ungloved hand over Sniper's mouth, using his other to work at the dark blue material covering his face and neck, finally freeing his head from the balaclava. Sniper's own eyes widened as he took in the surprisingly handsome face right in front of his. Spy had high cheekbones and his black salt and pepper hair was surrounding his face in gentle waves, coming down to the end of his neck. Sniper grinned cheekily as the Frenchman removed his hand, his eyes hard and steeled as he cautiously took a step back.

"Wow." That was all that Sniper said, smiling happily as he took Spy's face into his calloused hands, placing a chaste kiss over his lips.

Red Spy grinned, the camera flashing as another was printed quickly, added to the pile silently.

"An eye for an eye mon Frere."

* * *

OOO_  
_

_Barking Mad_

Scout yawned loudly, stepping out of his room timidly, looking both ways before running the whole way to the mess hall. Good, no sign of her yet. Engie glanced up just as Scout ran past the workshop, grinning as he reached down with his metal hand. He whispered quietly as he unclipped something.

"Go get him Girl."

Scout burst into the room, 7 and a half pairs of eyes looking at him as he leapt into the kitchen, increasing tapping following him from a distance. A puppy burst into the room, sniffing the air as she skidded on her paws on the linoleum flooring. Pyro tilted their head at the puppy, as the rest of the mercenaries looked at each other, confused. The Rottweiler's eyes lit up and she went bounding towards the kitchen door, pawing at it playfully. Pyro, despite their confusion, opened the door for the puppy. She went leaping in after Scout, a screech and a loud crash following soon after. Scout yelled loudly, his voice distinctive.

"Middie! Get off! Hehe, no!" Pyro peered around the door to see the puppy sat on Scout's chest as he lay on the floor, pots and pans surrounding him as the puppy licked his face, her rough tongue leaving wet trails on his skin. Pyro shook their head. Looked like there was a new member on the team.

* * *

OOO

_Dogtags_

Scout sat on the workbench unnaturally quietly, Engie sat at said workbench and they were both staring at the blueprint spread over the table, Engie in wonder and Scout in boredom. Scout had run to the elder after the battle, a battered blueprint he had supposedly found handed over to the Texan. Engie had taken Scout to his workshop where he could analyse it closely and Scout, being as bored as ever, followed after him. Now, not ten minutes later, Scout was contemplating leaving when Engie gasped, his eyes lighting up slightly.

"They're dogtags! I get it now! The bomb is inserted here and cannot be removed unless activated here, and..." Engie rambled on as Scout uncrossed his legs, leaping down from on top of the wooden slab that was the workbench, casually strolling towards the door in a way that practically asked Engie to notice him.

"Scout." He stopped, biting his lip as the Texan stared at his back, the feeling seeming to burn at his skin.

"Git back in here, these have somethin' tah do with you." Scout backtracked, looking at Engie like he'd gone crazy.

"But Engiee! If it's for me, then why don't you build it to see what it does?" Scout rubbed his hands together briskly, looking side to side; he just wanted to leave. Geez, why did he have to come up with such a lame excuse?

"But... Fine." Scout grinned, clapping Engie on the back and looking slightly surprised.

"Thanks a lot hardhat!" Scout left the room with arrogance, leaving Engie to stutter in shock as he was left alone yet again.

* * *

Tsk Tsk Red Spy, Taking pictures of people kissing isn't very nice.

Spy: But! He took pictures of me and Scout's mother!

CG: Hmmm...

I'll finish that last one next time, I honestly don't know what to do from there, except that I know I want Engie to have some dogtags of his own...

Anyways, Thanks to BrittyNeko for giving me some suggestions! You also helped remind me I had to finish this chapter, I sort of got stuck on _Eyes_, but finished it quickly enough :D Until next time my lovelies


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